Take your time to read through these hilarious ways to annoy you housemate, they will have you laughing your head off in no time!
Continually refer to your roommate using terms of endearment (sweetcheeks, honeybuns). Slap him/her in the face if they ever do the same.
Pretend to talk while pretending to be asleep.
Move you roommate’s personal effects around. Start subtlely. Gradually work up to big things, and eventually glue everything she/he owns to the ceiling.
Ask your roommate if your family can move in “just for a couple of weeks.”
Smoke ball-point pens.
Shoot rubber bands at your roommate while his/her back is turned, and then look away quickly.
Hide your underwear and socks in your roommate’s closet. Accuse him/her of stealing it.
Whenever he/she is about to fall asleep, ask questions that start with “Did you ever wonder why….” Be creative.
Open your window shades before you go to sleep each night. Close them as soon as you wake up.
Send secret admirer notes on your roommate’s e-mail.
If you get in before your roomate, go to sleep in his/her bed.
Whenever you go to sleep, start jumping on your bed. Do so for a while, then jump really high and act like you hit your head on the ceiling. Crumple onto your bed and fake like you were knocked out. Use this method to fall asleep every night for a month.
If your roommate goes away for a weekend, change the locks.
Create an imaginary cat for a pet. Talk to it every night, act like you’re holding it, keep a litter box under your desk. After two weeks, say that your cat is missing. Put up signs in your dorm; blame your roommate.
Whenever the phone rings, get up and answer the door.
Whenever someone knocks, answer the phone.
Tell your roommate that someone called and said that it was really important but you can’t remember who it was.
When you walk into your room, turn off your lights. Turn them on when you leave.
Hang stuffed animals with nooses from your ceiling. Whenever you walk by them mutter, “You shouldn’t have done that to me.”
Trash the room when your roommate’s not around. Then leave and wait for your roommate to come back. When she or he does, walk in and act surprised. Say, “Uh-oh, it looks like THEY were here again.”
Every Thursday, pack up everything you own and tell your roommate you’re going home. Come back in an hour and explain that no one was home. Unpack everything and go to sleep.
Every time you wake up, start yelling, “Oh, no! Where am I?!” and run around the room for a few minutes. Then go back to bed. If your roommate asks, say you don’t know what he/she is talking about.
Buy a Jack-In-The-Box. Every day, turn the handle until the clown pops out. Scream continuously for twenty minutes.
Lock the door while your roommate is out. When s/he comes back and tries to unlock it, yell, “Don’t come in, I’m naked!” Keep this up for several hours. When you finally let your roommate in, immediately take off all of your clothes, and ignore your roommate.
If your roommate comes home after midnight, hit him/her on the head with a rolling pin. Immediately go to bed, muttering, “Ungrateful little…”
Tell your roommate, “I’ve got an important message for you.” Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can’t remember what the message was. Later on, say, “Oh, yeah, I remember!” Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.
Bowl inside the room. Set up tournaments with other people in the building. Award someone a trophy. If your roommate wants to bowl too, explain that he/she needs bowling shoes.
While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.
Make a sandwich. Don’t eat it; leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, “Hey, where is my sandwich!?” Complain loudly that you are hungry.
Throw darts at a bare wall. All of a sudden, act excited, telling your roommate that you hit the bullseye.
Practice needlepoint every night. At one point, grab your thumb and scream, “Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!” Cry hysterically for a few minutes, and then go to bed. Sob and sniff all night.
Scatter stuffed animals around the room. Put party hats on them. Play loud music. When your roommate walks in, turn off the music, take off the party hats, put away the stuffed animals, and say, “Well, it was fun while it lasted.”
Hit your roommate on the head with a brick. Claim that you were trying to kill a mosquito.
Steal something valuable of your roommate’s. If he/she asks about it, tell him/her that you traded it for some magic beans. Give some beans to your roommate.
Instead of turning off the light switch, smash the light bulb with a hammer. Put a new bulb in the next day. Complain often about the cost of light bulbs.
When you walk into the room, look at your roommate in disgust and yell, “Oh, you’re here!” Walk away yelling and cursing.
Leave the room at random, knock on the door, and wait for your roommate to let you back in. If he/she asks about it, go on a tangent about the importance of good manners.
Leave your room and lock the door. Proceed to bang on the door, screaming, “Let me in.” Get mad at your roommate for locking you out.
Constantly slip and fall - on your carpet.
Let your alarm clock go off and refuse to turn it off. If your roommate comments, pretend not to hear anything.
Every time you take a shower, yell audibly, “I’m melting, I’m melting!”
When your roommate has friends over, get under your covers and stare at them through a little hole in the covers. Use a telescope.
When you leave the room, put on a screensaver that says, “I’m watching you.”
